WHEN LIFE SPEAKS

Monday, February 11, 2013

Scarred

All we have is impassioned memories of our past

That burns the surface of the present, tarnishing our future...

There’s a fire that ignites between us.

The heat of our own self-affliction infects our minds,

Leaving the entreaty of our love for one another sick.

Although the pain goes away when ever we’re together,

It appears greatly the moment we part.

And our nights become restless and cold.

Damaged goods “we are”

Lost in a time zone when love confused, manipulated, and abused.

Now we are yearning for something that heals.

The ultimate cure of loves pain

Instead of being there to care for one another, embracing our love

We fight our feelings day by day by constantly pushing each other away.

Every day we wake up next to each other, a new light of hope shines our face

And we lay inseparable in loves embrace

Such a great feeling it is to be still

In the moments of what feels so real,

Until the darkness comes in like a thief

Pilfering all of our joy with the curse mixed emotions

Laughter followed by tears

Tears turned into withdrawal

And withdrawal later on turned to regret

“Why can’t we just let go and live free?”

Forget about the pain of loves past and move forward

It’s obvious that we can’t live without each other

Yet all we have is impassioned memories of our past

That burns the surface of the present, tarnishing our future…

Friday, February 8, 2013

Loves Pain

After about a minute of fingers rubbing in circles followed by a few blinks, finally my eyes open

The ray of sun that peaks through an unbalanced blind covering a window, tells me it’s a new day – or is it?

I look around and I ponder…..hmmm (so many questions running through my mind)

Where am I and how did I get here?

Who are these people and where are my clothes?

Why can’t I remember and why do I feel funny?

The fretfulness running through my mind has me panic-stricken

Lying in a bed of sin, I slowly begin to move, trying to find my way around this unfamiliar territory

Finally I reach a place of solitude

As I look in the mirror that hangs over the vanity of a blood-stained washroom

Tears relentlessly begin to fall

What have I done?

Is my life really that bad for me to be so defiant?

Maybe I’m better off dead?

With a heavy heart, full of guilt, I begin to reach for my suicidal weapon of choice

When suddenly, I felt throbs at my feet

I looked down, picked up my phone, and I cried out

“Mommy, please help”

“I don’t know where I am, who I’m with, or how did I get here”

“I’m locked in a restroom naked and afraid”

Voices call out to me by another name as poundings create a terrifying noise at the door

I sit in the corner eyes closed with my hands covering my ears, praying asking God to protect me

Suddenly, the noise ceased and the door slowly opened

Trembling with fear, I built up enough courage to open my eyes and face my doom

To my surprise, I saw my savior

Hurt and disappointed by my life decisions, but always to my rescue

I see the one person who loves me unlike any other

My rock, my strength, my joy, my mother

Written by: The MeSSenger

Friday, April 6, 2012

Girl of my dreams

Every time I see your name flashing on my phone

My facial muscles tighten causing me to smile

I never knew I could ever feel this way

Especially, with someone whose looks can't be explained

I remember very clearly when we first met

And if I had to place money on us, I would have lost the bet

Because I never thought someone of fantasy

Could turn out to be so real

Now I can't imagine my life without you

I look forward to another days journey together

Wondering what our future has in store

Anticipating us being together as one

My heart rapidly beats from excitement

Then calms itself, enjoying where we are now

Buzz Buzz, I look over

And there you are flashing my phone

Once again my facial muscles tighten and I smile

The emotions I feel when I read your words

Can't be contained or explained

For one may think I'm crazy to be in love with a stranger

But you're no stranger to me

You are that love that I long for

You are that feeling that gives me butterflies

You are that voice that soothes my soul

And calms my heart

You are my joy and I am your king

Two individuals together, we form a team

I admit, it's hard work being so far apart

But I'd rather be your distant lover

Than to be just another brother

For I enjoy being who I am with you

And I love who you are with me

I get high off our conversation

Thoughts of you running through my head

Gives me the biggest erection ever

And when I lay my head to sleep each night

Saying those 3 little words to you feels sooo right

Because you have given me the best years of my life

And I have yet to physically meet you

But each time that I close my eyes

I get to know you more and more

And I wake up from my dreams of you hoping

That one day, you will appear!

Love Stains

How many tears must I cry

And how many days must pass me by

Before I stop questioning the Lord asking Why

Why did you take love away from me

What did I do to deserve this pain

It seems like love had nothing for me to gain

Only a change in my last name

Now my last name is all I have left

For the second time, I cry the same tears

Thinking of all the wonderful memories I consumed over the years

Now because of it all, love has become one of my greatest fears

Because I can't imagine having this feeling again

First time it happened, I thought I wouldn't make it

The spell the devil put on my heart, I thought I would never break it

But I moved on, found love and lost it again, now I can't take it

What else is there left for me to do

After being crowned by my king

And proudly standing by his side, wearing his ring

Here I sit crying, listening to the psalmist sing

As I look into his eyes for the last time

A part of me wants to give up and rest next to him

But I have to be strong for them

Feeling down and barely hanging on by a limb

I pull myself back up and I smile

Even though you are not with me physically

I still give to you all of me

And as long as I live, I will always be

Your good thing

For you found me and made me your wife

Unselfishly, you gave your freedom as a sacrifice

And provided me with the best years of my life

All because you loved me

And even though you are gone

And I sleep each night in our bed alone

I still feel your presence in our home

Because your love is unfading

Untitled

It saddens me to look at you and see my future

because its portrait showcases a pale blue sky, wrapped behind heavy fog

the very sight of my life continued with you, is ugly

our commitment to one another was like a flower in full bloom

blossoming even more as we experienced the sun shinning upon us

warming our hearts with a love like no other

unfortunately, as the seasons changed

so did our flower because we didn't protect it

instead of giving it the best care

we simply enjoyed it, during its greatest bloom

not realizing that if we didn't preserve it during the cold

it would die and lose its passion forever

now our garden of love is full of weeds

all beauty is gone

because both of us acted as heartless beasts

two selfish and prideful beings

who wouldn't take the time to give back all the love we consumed

now we are left with sweet memories turned sour

at the very sight of each other

being ever so eager to say I do

breaks my heart to now say I don't, love you anymore

I was your knight in shinning armor

and you were my queen

nothing or no one could keep me away from you

I would fight the man who'd dare

but I'd only be battling myself

because I stepped in my own way to the gate of your heart

from keeping things from you

to not holding you when you needed consolation

I have created a gap in the bridge that connected us

now the paths that we once walked together

rest on opposite sides of the river

I ask myself the question

how can I get next to you now?

and I ponder on asking

do I even want to?

is it even worth the effort?

then I closed my eyes

turned the ignition of my mind and I traveled back in time

I journey through the years that got us to this place

then I stopped, opened up my eyes, and I looked into yours

this time when I looked at you, I smiled

for the first time in a long while, I saw your beauty again

the way those gentle eyes of yours pierced back at me

made me realize that I am the luckiest man in the world

to have you as my wife

at that moment, I knew exactly what needed to be done to bridge our gap

as I walked closer toward you, I begin to say the words, "I'm sorry"

each time I would say it, another gap would fill

suddenly' I approached the last gap

I shouted, "I'm sorry" in excitement to connect with you once again

but the gap remained unfilled and I begin to sigh thinking to myself, maybe its too late

then I heard your small voice cry out, saying "I'm sorry too"

the last gap was filled

and at the very moment when we embraced

I knew that my future will be great

because I'll share it with you!

Love Assurance

I refuse to cry

I'll fight till I die

Never afraid to try

Ask me why?

Because I'm a man

Even though I let you spread your legs and prance

Trust and believe in every circumstance

I wear the pants

Into my eyes, you can continue to glance

But it is what it is

I'm the man

It's not my job to correct you

Rather select you

And protect you

So baby please relax

And let me be your man

My being, you were meant to be a part of

Shit, you fit me like a glove

The best gift from above

Is your love

And as long as you give that, there is no need to fear

Baby, I'll be here

From our beginning to our days end

I'm with you through the thick and the thin

You are more to me than my woman, rather my best friend

But I need you to know this without always questioning it

Your confidence in me is my hearts key

For you are the missing rib that makes me whole

You are more valuable to me than the most precious of gold

You are the heart beat that brings life to my soul

Never old, you keep this love new

I may not always say it or show it,

but baby I'm absolutely blessed to have you

B.F.F.

Cycles of trials and tribulations causing stress levels and hypertension to rise

Begins to fall with a single glance into your eyes

Your gentle smile calms the room

The subtle choice of words you use to speak

Along with your soft tone

Moves my spirit and gives me hope

I regain my strength in your embrace

The rapid beating of my heart slows to a steady pace

And like the dry grounds of southern pastures after the rain

I feel restored

All because of your love

You, yes You

You with your warm heart

Exposed to a world so cold

Always set aside your feelings

To be someone else's guiding light

Yet sleeps along each night

Praying for someone to mend your broken heart

And piece it back together with love

Such a uniquely special and tender soul

You possess a power beyond what your eyes can see

And your heart can feel

You possess the very heart of God

You love without compromise

You care without judging

You give your all to help those with nothing

Yet you often hide behind your big framed glasses

Tying to block the reality of the Sun's shine upon your face

Too afraid to let people see the water stains

From tear drops falling from your eyes

Every time you listen to God speak life to you

I witness you often blame yourself

For all the unfortunate situations you face

And that's when I step in and return the same embrace

That you give me when I need strength

Because after the vibrant rise of drama in the morning

And the dim, yet powerful set of pain by evening

By the the days end, we are all we have left

So together we meet and become each others moon

A light that watches over us as we lay our heads and sleep

Only to wake up and feel refreshed as we approach a new day

Giving thanks to God for blessing us with a bond

That surpasses any group, team, organization, or marriage

We are best friends for life!