Monday, February 11, 2013

Scarred


All we have is impassioned memories of our past
That burns the surface of the present, tarnishing our future...

There’s a fire that ignites between us.
The heat of our own self-affliction infects our minds,
Leaving the entreaty of our love for one another sick.
Although the pain goes away when ever we’re together,
It appears greatly the moment we part.
And our nights become restless and cold.

Damaged goods “we are”
Lost in a time zone when love confused, manipulated, and abused.
Now we are yearning for something that heals.
The ultimate cure of loves pain
Instead of being there to care for one another, embracing our love
We fight our feelings day by day by constantly pushing each other away.

 Every day we wake up next to each other, a new light of hope shines our face
And we lay inseparable in loves embrace
Such a great feeling it is to be still
In the moments of what feels so real,
Until the darkness comes in like a thief
Pilfering all of our joy with the curse mixed emotions

 Laughter followed by tears
Tears turned into withdrawal
And withdrawal later on turned to regret
“Why can’t we just let go and live free?”
Forget about the pain of loves past and move forward
It’s obvious that we can’t live without each other

 Yet all we have is impassioned memories of our past
That burns the surface of the present, tarnishing our future…

Friday, February 8, 2013

Loves Pain


 
After about a minute of fingers rubbing in circles followed by a few blinks, finally my eyes open
The ray of sun that peaks through an unbalanced blind covering a window, tells me it’s a new day – or is it?
I look around and I ponder…..hmmm (so many questions running through my mind)
Where am I and how did I get here?
Who are these people and where are my clothes?
Why can’t I remember and why do I feel funny?
The fretfulness running through my mind has me panic-stricken
Lying in a bed of sin, I slowly begin to move, trying to find my way around this unfamiliar territory
Finally I reach a place of solitude
As I look in the mirror that hangs over the vanity of a blood-stained washroom
Tears relentlessly begin to fall
What have I done?
Is my life really that bad for me to be so defiant?
Maybe I’m better off dead?
With a heavy heart, full of guilt, I begin to reach for my suicidal weapon of choice
When suddenly, I felt throbs at my feet
I looked down, picked up my phone, and I cried out
“Mommy, please help”
“I don’t know where I am, who I’m with, or how did I get here”
“I’m locked in a restroom naked and afraid”
Voices call out to me by another name as poundings create a terrifying noise at the door
I sit in the corner eyes closed with my hands covering my ears, praying asking God to protect me
Suddenly, the noise ceased and the door slowly opened
Trembling with fear, I built up enough courage to open my eyes and face my doom
To my surprise, I saw my savior
Hurt and disappointed by my life decisions, but always to my rescue
I see the one person who loves me unlike any other
My rock, my strength, my joy, my mother

                                                                                                                                                              

Written by: The MeSSenger

Friday, April 6, 2012

Girl of my dreams

Every time I see your name flashing on my phone
My facial muscles tighten causing me to smile
I never knew I could ever feel this way
Especially, with someone whose looks can't be explained
I remember very clearly when we first met
And if I had to place money on us, I would have lost the bet
Because I never thought someone of fantasy
Could turn out to be so real
Now I can't imagine my life without you
I look forward to another days journey together
Wondering what our future has in store 
Anticipating us being together as one
My heart rapidly beats from excitement 
Then calms itself, enjoying where we are now
Buzz Buzz, I look over
And there you are flashing my phone
Once again my facial muscles tighten and I smile
The emotions I feel when I read your words
Can't be contained or explained 
For one may think I'm crazy to be in love with a stranger
But you're no stranger to me
You are that love that I long for
You are that feeling that gives me butterflies
You are that voice that soothes my soul
And calms my heart
You are my joy and I am your king
Two individuals together, we form a team
I admit, it's hard work being so far apart
But I'd rather be your distant lover
Than to be just another brother
For I enjoy being who I am with you
And I love who you are with me
I get high off our conversation
Thoughts of you running through my head
Gives me the biggest erection ever
And when I lay my head to sleep each night
Saying those 3 little words to you feels sooo right
Because you have given me the best years of my life
And I have yet to physically meet you
But each time that I close my eyes
I get to know you more and more
And I wake up from my dreams of you hoping
That one day, you will appear!


© 2012 All rights reserved to The MeSSenger

Love Stains

How many tears must I cry
And how many days must pass me by
Before I stop questioning the Lord asking Why
Why did you take love away from me

What did I do to deserve this pain
It seems like love had nothing for me to gain
Only a change in my last name
Now my last name is all I have left

For the second time, I cry the same tears
Thinking of all the wonderful memories I consumed over the years
Now because of it all, love has become one of my greatest fears
Because I can't imagine having this feeling again

First time it happened, I thought I wouldn't make it
The spell the devil put on my heart, I thought I would never break it
But I moved on, found love and lost it again, now I can't take it
What else is there left for me to do

After being crowned by my king
And proudly standing by his side, wearing his ring
Here I sit crying, listening to the psalmist sing
As I look into his eyes for the last time

A part of me wants to give up and rest next to him
But I have to be strong for them
Feeling down and barely hanging on by a limb
I pull myself back up and I smile

Even though you are not with me physically
I still give to you all of me
And as long as I live, I will always be
Your good thing

For you found me and made me your wife
Unselfishly, you gave your freedom as a sacrifice
And provided me with the best years of my life
All because you loved me

And even though you are gone
And I sleep each night in our bed alone
I still feel your presence in our home
Because your love is unfading 


© 2012 All rights reserved to The MeSSenger

Untitled

It saddens me to look at you and see my future
because its portrait showcases a pale blue sky, wrapped behind heavy fog
the very sight of my life continued with you, is ugly
our commitment to one another was like a flower in full bloom
blossoming even more as we experienced the sun shinning upon us
warming our hearts with a love like no other

unfortunately, as the seasons changed
so did our flower because we didn't protect it
instead of giving it the best care
we simply enjoyed it, during its greatest bloom
not realizing that if we didn't preserve it during the cold
it would die and lose its passion forever

now our garden of love is full of weeds
all beauty is gone
because both of us acted as heartless beasts
two selfish and prideful beings
who wouldn't take the time to give back all the love we consumed
now we are left with sweet memories turned sour
at the very sight of each other

being ever so eager to say I do
breaks my heart to now say I don't, love you anymore
I was your knight in shinning armor
and you were my queen
nothing or no one could keep me away from you 
I would fight the man who'd dare
but I'd only be battling myself
because I stepped in my own way to the gate of your heart

from keeping things from you
to not holding you when you needed consolation 
I have created a gap in the bridge that connected us
now the paths that we once walked together
rest on opposite sides of the river

I ask myself the question
how can I get next to you now?
and I ponder on asking 
do I even want to?
is it even worth the effort?

then I  closed my eyes
turned the ignition of my mind and I traveled back in time
I journey through the years that got us to this place
then I stopped, opened up my eyes, and I looked into yours
this time when I looked at you, I smiled

for the first time in a long while, I saw your beauty again
the way those gentle eyes of yours pierced back at me
made me realize that I am the luckiest man in the world
to have you as my wife

at that moment, I knew exactly what needed to be done to bridge our gap
as I walked closer toward you, I begin to say the words, "I'm sorry"
each time I would say it, another gap would fill 
suddenly' I approached the last gap
I shouted, "I'm sorry" in excitement to connect with you once again
but the gap remained unfilled and I begin to sigh thinking to myself, maybe its too late

then I heard your small voice cry out, saying "I'm sorry too"
the last gap was filled
and at the very moment when we embraced
I knew that my future will be great
because I'll share it with you!

© 2012 All rights reserved to The MeSSenger

Love Assurance


I refuse to cry
I'll fight till I die
Never afraid to try
Ask me why?
Because I'm a man

Even though I let you spread your legs and prance
Trust and believe in every circumstance
I wear the pants
Into my eyes, you can continue to glance
But it is what it is
I'm the man

It's not my job to correct you
Rather select you
And protect you
So baby please relax
And let me be your man 

My being, you were meant to be a part of
Shit, you fit me like a glove
The best gift from above
Is your love
And as long as you give that, there is no need to fear
Baby, I'll be here

From our beginning to our days end
I'm with you through the thick and the thin
You are more to me than my woman, rather my best friend
But I need you to know this without always questioning it 
Your confidence in me is my hearts key

For you are the missing rib that makes me whole
You are more valuable to me than the most precious of gold 
You are the heart beat that brings life to my soul
Never old, you keep this love new
I may not always say it or show it, 
but baby I'm absolutely blessed to have you

© 2012 All rights reserved to The MeSSenger


B.F.F.

Cycles of trials and tribulations causing stress levels and hypertension to rise
Begins to fall with a single glance into your eyes
Your gentle smile calms the room 
The subtle choice of words you use to speak
Along with your soft tone
Moves my spirit and gives me hope
I regain my strength in your embrace
The rapid beating of my heart slows to a steady pace
And like the dry grounds of southern pastures after the rain
I feel restored  
All because of your love
You, yes You
You with your warm heart
Exposed to a world so cold
Always set aside your feelings 
To be someone else's guiding light
Yet sleeps along each night
Praying for someone to mend your broken heart
And piece it back together with love
Such a uniquely special and tender soul
You possess a power beyond what your eyes can see
And your heart can feel
You possess the very heart of God
You love without compromise
You care without judging 
You give your all to help those with nothing
Yet you often hide behind your big framed glasses
Tying to block the reality of the Sun's shine upon your face
Too afraid to let people see the water stains 
From tear drops falling from your eyes 
Every time you listen to God speak life to you
I witness you often blame yourself
For all the unfortunate situations you face
And that's when I step in and return the same embrace
That you give me when I need strength
Because after the vibrant rise of drama in the morning
And the dim, yet powerful set of pain by evening
By the the days end, we are all we have left
So together we meet and become each others moon
A light that watches over us as we lay our heads and sleep
Only to wake up and feel refreshed as we approach a new day
Giving thanks to God for blessing us with a bond
That surpasses any group, team, organization, or marriage 
We are best friends for life! 

© 2012 All rights reserved to The MeSSenger